It is often easy to overcome offensive remarks made to us by those who know us best such as our parents, siblings and close friends. But how about if you have been offended by your in-laws? How should you react? Should you inform your spouse? Responding to offensive remarks made by people who have not known you your whole life and who are related to you through marriage, rather than blood, can be hard to accept. It is easy to take remarks out of context and to blow them out of all proportion. After all, you may reason, who are they to say such things?
Cooking is a pleasurable experience for many, especially for foodies who eat, breathe and sleep food. But what if you have to face an uphill struggle to get your spouse’s great-aunt to even sample your apple pie let alone the whole three course meal you have just prepared? While it is possible to win some people round to accepting your cooking, you may have to accept that not everyone in your spouse’s family will eat your cooking. That is not necessarily a reflection on your abilities as a cook. Some people are just picky eaters and will voice their opinions openly without giving heed to the fact that what they say may cause offence.
While some rude comments made by your in-laws need to be addressed quickly to avoid any lingering sour feelings, there are times when it is best to just let the matter drop. Take age, infirmity and other factors into consideration before you decide that you want to break off all contact with your in-laws.
Disagreements Over Raising Children
Responding to remarks made to you about your parenting techniques can be particularly galling, especially if an in-law, such as your mother-in-law, gives you advice about how to raise your children that is contrary to your own views on child-rearing. If your mother-in-law believes in corporal punishment and is quite happy to smack your children when they misbehave, but you prefer other means of disciplining your children, you cannot keep silent and hope that the stony stares you give your mother-in-law will make her see the “error” of her ways.
As the parent, you will have the final say in how your children are disciplined and you must tactfully inform your mother-in-law that her methods of punishment are not the same as yours. If she then shows her displeasure at this, you will need to enlist your spouse’s support and reiterate the fact that as parents and as a couple, you already have methods in place that work well for you.
About the Author: James is one of the good divorce lawyer in Singapore, he likes to cook when he got free time with his family, and he is our frequent customer too. Thanks to his article, it’s really make our blog better.